THE TWO WAYS
In our relationship to other human beings, there are essentially two ways to follow. To help people or to hurt people. Often a third way seems to present itself—to remain neutral. Uncaring. Or at least uncommitted. But in truth that way far more often than not leads to more people getting hurt. So we are actually back to the Two Ways once again. Always. Daily.
I like to help people. Although I occasionally hurt them, I try not to, and usually feel pangs of conscience and guilt when I do so. My eyes, ears, and common sense tell me that Donald Trump, his lackeys, minions, and MAGA followers, like to hurt people more than help them. A lot more. That seems to be where their true pleasure and purpose lies. This is hard for me to understand. As, perhaps, they have great trouble ‘understanding’ empaths and liberals and ‘kind-hearted’ folks.
But here’s the thing. I have spent—and millions like me have spent—10 years (and going back to the wretched ‘tea party’ perhaps nearly 20) trying to understand. Trying to understand purposeful hurting. Purposeful cruelty. Purposeful destruction. Purposeful harm and purposeful deceit. And despite all my pondering and observing and reading, I fear I am no closer to an answer now than I was at the beginning. And it seems as if the other side spends almost no time trying to understand… helping. Simple helping.
Maybe the answer is in the Bible—it must be there somewhere, right? This desire to hurt? To wound, to destroy? Or in the sacred texts of Buddhism, Taoism, Islam, or other wisdom traditions. But I’ve read a lot of them—or at least big parts of them. And I still don’t get it. Maybe Jung explained it. Or Freud or Adler. They must have. But I must have not read closely and diligently enough.
So I am stuck. Trying to understand why—when we have two choices, helping or hurting—so many choose the latter. Almost seeming to wake up each morning thinking, ‘Who can I hurt today, and how many, and how?’
Maybe I’m wrong. I must be. For who on Earth would want to live their life like that?
And why?
Is it the balance of Ying and Yang - do we need to pay for all the good years with the horror of the donald show? Do religious zealots have to turn to the anti-christ because it balances out the good works and word of Jesus? Are we in this constant need for a Genghis Kahn, Caligula, Hitler, Mussolini to balance the scales of Gandhi, Buddha, Jesus, Schweitzer? Is the human organism so in need of this terrible balance? Why do we have the KKK, Nazis, Proud Boys, January 6 insurrectionists parading as ICE when we all dreamed of peace and love? I am ashamed that we continually allow these low lives to get to center stage. I just wish I knew why?
I don’t think truly kind, compassionate people can ever understand cruel, mean people, and possibly vice versa. It seems to me the trick to maintaining a humane, civilized society lies in educating an electorate in the ways of empathy, civility and respect. I think (hope?) we will find the vast majority of people would rather live in a state of peace and justice than anger and hate. The challenge is to restore faith in the ability of our institutions to be more altruistic than self-serving. Keep on teaching by example, Doug. It is your calling.