VEXED

HI GANG; Something is vexing me. To be clear, it is so infinitesimal and far down the list of things that vex me right now that I probably shouldn’t mention it. I definitely shouldn’t mention it. But I am vexed and I’m going to mention it anyway. Maybe you can help me out.

What it is, is medicines. To be more specific, it’s the names of medicines. And to be even more specific, it’s the names of new medicines that I had never heard of a month, or two months, or a year ago. All of these products have three syllables. Exactly three. (We don’t know why.) Some random examples: Ozempic. Byktarvy. Brylanta. Skyrizi. (Oh, I really hate that one). Dupuixant. Tepezza. Wegovy. Zolengsma. Etc, etc, etc... The names mean, objectively, nothing. As far as I can tell. Nothing that gives you a clue as to what is in them, or what ailment they are supposed to cure, or how. And I don’t know... personally, I find that annoying. Maybe you don’t, and you are fine with it, and you can advise me to simply ‘chill.’

But that’s not all that is vexatious. Aside from the nonsensical three syllables that mean nothing, they all have musical ‘jingles.’ Dumb ones. That you hear 47 times a day. At least. And despite the fact that they are stupid, you can’t get them out of your head.

But that’s not all, either. They have people dancing. Dancing! I guess it’s dancing. In the street, or in a town square, or in a parking lot. Or at least marching. And twirling batons and stuff, like they did when they were in high school. Which by the looks of these folks was quite some time ago.

But that’s not all. They all have a ‘voice-over’--I think it’s the same person, over and over again, about why this new medicine is so great, and why you REALLY should try it. Except that it may cause itching, or rashes in unmentionable places (although they go ahead and mention them) or trouble breathing, or seizures or strokes, or even death. And that you should NOT try it if you are allergic to it (How would you know???) Or if you have any of these aforementioned conditions. (Except for death, one would assume. But who knows?)

But that’s not all. In spite of all these terrible complications, and the terrible conditions the new drug is meant to combat, all these people in the commercials look so gol-danged HAPPY! I mean, why would you BE that happy? Anybody?? I like to be happy as much as the next person, but I don’t go dancing and singing and marching around in the streets over it. With a bunch of strangers. It’s more like kind of a quiet, personal thing. At least for me.

So... what do I do? To alleviate this vexation? YesI know, we could turn off the TV, or the radio. And we do. But sometimes we like to watch an old western, like Gunsmoke--(especially with Festus and Doc arguing) or a murder mystery. Or even the news. (The cable news channels seem to have more of these ads than anybody! Which is annoying in itself.) Yes, I know, I could use the remote. But usually I’m not the one who has the remote, or else it’s on the other side of the room. And even if we ‘mute’ the commercial, then you still have the people marching and twirling and dancing in the streets. Which--did I mention?--vexes me. Mightily.

So, I am turning to you, my good Campfire friends, for comfort and advice. Or maybe just a few ‘misery loves company’ responses. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me. It probably is. But I’m a ‘word person.’ I like words. But I really like them to MEAN something. To communicate some worthwhile thought or feeling or idea or grand philosophy or... something.

Still, I must say, after writing all this down, and unburdening myself, I unexpectedly feel just a little bit better. Already. Maybe I should give this feeling, this unburdening sort of therapy, a name. But with four syllables. Or maybe only two, or even one. No X’s or Z’s or Y’s in the name. And definitely NO DANCING.

I will appreciate your thoughts...